Thank you for listening to The Champion Forum Podcast with Jeff Hancher. Have you ever reacted impulsively and allowed your emotions to dictate your response? This can have wide-ranging negative consequences, impacting your credibility, relationships, and organizational culture. Today on The Champion Forum Podcast, we discuss how the power of the pause can help you respond with composure and effectiveness.
Listener Question: "Jeff, I recently listened to your episode, "When Tempers Flare." I loved the content and shared it with my leadership team. I own a company and am building a system that will allow qualified employees to become a part of a program to be groomed for future leadership positions. A few of my current leaders are helping me with this initiative to create future leaders. After listening to "When Tempers Flare," they felt like a deeper dive into practical steps leaders can take to maintain composure under pressure. Can you give some simple and practical steps we can share with this group that we are training for future leadership opportunities?
Have you ever had someone push your last button? Or have you ever felt so much pressure that you felt like you might explode? Or has the pace ever been so fast that you started making decisions without adequate thought? If so, you are not alone. The leadership journey is filled with many challenges for us to navigate. The key is to gain control of your mind and your perspective. But how do we gain control when everything feels like it is unraveling?
3 Steps to take when you feel like losing your composure: Pause, Reflect, Respond
The Pause, Reflect, Respond approach is a great way to make decisions and deliver effective communication with proper perspective and emotional intelligence. It emphasizes deliberate action over impulsive reactions and is very effective in high-pressure or emotionally charged scenarios.
Pause
Take a moment to stop and breathe before reacting to a situation. This short pause can prevent knee-jerk responses driven by stress and frustration. Pausing allows you time to think and avoid saying or doing something you will regret.
How to practice it:
Take a deep breath.
Count to three (or more, if needed).
And depending on the situation, you may even need to step away physically.
Reflect
Once you have paused, you need to take a moment to reflect. Look at the situation objectively and assess both facts and feelings before responding. Try to understand the context and the perspectives of everyone involved. Reflection gives you a moment to evaluate any potential biases and the impact of your response, not to mention the needs of others.
How to practice it:
Ask yourself, "What is really happening here?"
"What is the desired outcome that I want to achieve?"
And how about the other person's perspective: "How might they feel, and what might they need?"
Respond
Choose a response that aligns with the desired outcome. Aim for clarity and empathy because this is a sign of a leader thinking of others above themselves. Consider responding with a question instead of a statement. Questions are collaborative and reduce the likelihood of causing the other person to become defensive. Thoughtful responses will help you build trust, resolve conflicts, and strengthen relationships.
Application Activities:
Identify one moment in your day where you typically react on impulse—whether in a tough meeting, a family conversation, or even responding to an email. When it happens, pause. Take a breath, reflect on your goals for that moment, and then choose your response. Notice the difference it makes.
Come up with a few phrases you can use when you are getting upset and want to pause. For example:
I need some time to think this over. Can I call you back in 15 minutes?
I'm not ready to respond right now. Let's meet at X time to talk more and develop a solution.
I know this issue is important to you, and I want to ensure I'm giving it the attention it deserves. Let me clear my head and get back to you after lunch.
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