Thank you for listening to The Champion Forum Podcast with Jeff Hancher! As a leader, trust is one of the most important things you can build. Without trust, you will struggle to build relationships, get buy-in, and help people reach their goals. So, how do you build credibility as a leader? How do you make sure you're not accidentally destroying the trust you are trying to build? In today's episode, we will discuss two things that significantly affect a leader's credibility: what they say and how authentic they are.
1. How do you not lose leadership credibility by saying things you shouldn't?
Have you ever used a word or phrase so long that you forgot what it really meant? Over time, leaders can start to lean on certain phrases in an attempt to get their employees to see their perspective. However, these phrases are not always appropriate and can make employees feel misunderstood or resentful. Here are some common phrases I recommend leaders try to avoid saying.
"You're doing good."
Why it's problematic: This phrase doesn't provide meaningful feedback, which can leave employees unsure about their performance.
Better alternative: "Here's what you're doing well, and here's where I think there's room for growth."
"We don't have the budget for that."
Why it's problematic: While it might be true, this phrase dismisses ideas and makes employees feel like their suggestions aren't worth considering. It's a conversation-ender.
Better alternative: "We have budget constraints, but let's explore ways to achieve this within our resources."
"You need to improve your attitude."
Why it's problematic: This is vague and accusatory. It provides no clear direction for improvement and can make employees feel defensive.
Better alternative: "I've noticed some recent changes in your demeanor. Can we discuss what's happening and how we can work through it?"
"You should be able to handle this by yourself."
Why it's problematic: This dismisses the need for collaboration or support, possibly leading to employee frustration or burnout. It also sends the message that seeking help is a sign of weakness.
Better alternative: "I trust you to manage this, but let's discuss how I can support you or remove any barriers."
"We are family here."
Why it's problematic: At the end of the day, a company is a business with financial objectives and strategic goals. Referring to it as a "family" downplays the fact that decisions (such as layoffs, salary cuts, or reorganizations) will be made in the company's interest, not the individual. Families are supposed to be permanent, but jobs are not.
Better Alternative: Instead of referring to the workplace as a "family," position yourself as a team where collaboration, mutual respect, and shared goals are the core values. A phrase like "We're a strong team working together to achieve great things" can foster camaraderie without blurred boundaries of the "family" narrative.
2. How to be an authentic leader.
I recently had a client that hired a leader from the outside. This newly hired leader was having a tough time building meaningful relationships with their new team, and the owner of the company asked me to coach this leader in overcoming this challenge. Building trust can be tricky, and leaders know that. They are trying to balance building relationships with holding people accountable, and it is easy to get that balance wrong. When I met with this leader, I saw they had great intentions. They just needed to focus on building authentic relationships. Here are six ways you can build authenticity and trust as a leader.
Share personal stories or challenges you've overcome.
Admit when you don't know something or make a mistake.
Allow yourself to express emotions in a controlled way, demonstrating that you're human, not just a "boss."
Be upfront with your team about the organization's challenges, changes, or uncertainties.
Regularly seek feedback from others. This lets people know that you don't have all the answers.
Be sincere and try to form genuine connections with others. Take time to discover what makes them tick and get to know them. Genuinely showing interest in people goes a long way in forming a connection.
Application Activities:
What other phrases do you think undermine your credibility as a leader? Take time to reflect on what you say often and evaluate how productive they are. If you are unsure whether you routinely say things your team finds problematic, ask them! Have a candid conversation about phrases you use that are untrue, overused, or affect your employee's trust in you.
Think about a leader who you think is authentic. What did they say? What did they do? How did you know they were being truthful? What else did they do that helped you trust them? Review this list and find one thing you can start doing for your team. Commit to embracing this behavior over the next month and evaluate your progress.
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